Tuesday, November 25, 2008

dirty hair

i tried to change
tried to change me
but you wouldn't
i couldn't.
i don't know why you care
about my dirty hair
or lack of ambition
i'm happy
and why are you such a cunt
i think that's a valid thing for me to want you not to be
but you are
and i am
so i'll apologize
and compliment your thighs
and you'll sew up that hole in my jeff gordon t-shirt
and then we'll try it all again
i know
you know
this is going to end

Sunday, November 23, 2008


robots in disguise
hair plugs
glasses on their eyes
"oh hey neat-o"
in your bed
giving head
by morning you'll be dead
those aren't human girls and guys
they're robots in disguise


there's blood
on my t-shirt
that won't go away
turkey DNA
moose gizzards
hot dog juice
from a goose
smeared across jeff gordon's face
you can still see the 2
but the 4 isn't there anymore
it's a hole now
from that night we tipped the cow
and got snagged
on the barbed wire
and the left sleeve is singed
(remember when we set the school on fire)
reeks of sweat and beer
and stale puke
this t-shirt and me
where will we be

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

amy grant's leopard-print jacket haiku

i beat off to you
in your leopard-print jacket
your music sucks though

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


instead of writing i've been getting into typing lately. it's a lot like writing except you don't have to think of anything to write. you can literally copy any passage of text and just type it up. or if you know somebody who likes to say things then you can just follow them around and type up everything they say. it's great. all the fun of writing without any of the headaches.

Friday, November 07, 2008

2012 Palin Haikus

palin: twenty twelve
guns and jesus oh hooray
my dream U.S.A.
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