Monday, January 31, 2011

Your Dog is So Lonely


There was a movie about McDonald's about the food and a man who ate a cheeseburger vomited so you should know that it is not good for you. Your floor is covered with trash and all that partially digested meat is sitting with bent legs in your stomach. It spits acid into your sphincter and you are going to die. You are so fat and greasy.

You are spending too many hours killing army people on your Xbox Three Hundred and Sixty Degrees and your dog is so lonely. Buy him a tennis ball and pat him on the head. Do something with your life. All your friends are boys and I think you are masturbating into your socks. Open the curtains it is so dark in here.

Are you a different person in the mirror? I don't like what I am seeing. Look at me I am talking to you. You need to wash your hair and I think you are drinking too much. I see the cans outside. You are not so sneaky as you think you are.

And your bean bag chair is leaking beans all over the place. Is this what makes you happy?

5 comments:

  1. "All your friends are boys and I think you are masturbating into your socks. Open the curtains it is so dark in here."
    hahaha <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just moved into a basement apartment.
    Reading this made me think of that.
    Feels like you are really talking to me, except I don't drink.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are so fat and greasy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are right about the socks. I am. Oh, wait. Maybe you weren't talking about me. Hotion! Another home run.

    ReplyDelete

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