Wednesday, February 09, 2011

A Million Birds and a Grizzly Bear

A million birds and a grizzly bear. The birds are not magpies or doves, but something in-between. Flight unseen, nobody knows who they are. The grizzly bear? His name is Dave and he hasn't felt the same since he heard JJ Cale cantillate "Cocaine."

"I've never done wrong," he yells up at the birds, "along the way, in this life that I've led. I've never had fun, I've never been bad."

"You've eaten some people," the birds chirp back.

"I'm a grizzly bear," shouts Dave. "I'm programmed to attack. But I've never done the unexpected or veered off track."

"Ursus arctos horribilis," whisper the birds back to Dave. "We think you live up to your name."

"This normalness is driving me insane," grunts Dave to the birds. "I can't very well express myself to you with these words; I'm a bear. But I'm tired of all this truth with none of the dare. I want to down a fifth of scotch and finger a fish and watch pornographic movies online. I want to take something that isn't mine and alter the numbers on a speed limit sign. I want to get a tattoo of Jesus smoking crack on my back and hatch a virus that can infect a Mac. I need to go nutso ballutso just one time before I sign off and decay into the dirt. I'm inert, benign, like porridge that tastes just right."

"You're doing fine," hum the birds as they fly out of sight. 

"Shit," says Dave to nobody as he stumbles back to the stream. "Winter's coming and I need to eat me some salmon."


  1. this is all kinds of awesome mister.

  2. Rollerfink has the best blog full of writing ever.

  3. You are on fire and my jiblecon just melted. More, please.

  4. write something about 2 x panda bears.

  5. Thanks everybody.

    @gamefaced, all kinds of thank you

    @otto, please send me pics of your jiblecon

    @DJ, I have not started that thing. But I will.

    @richard, howzabout 1 x koala bear in spandex pants and a wifebeater. also, I might start calling you Dick Robots for short but want to check with you to make sure it is okay. I would say it in a nice way like "Dick Robots"

  6. i just saw this.

    yes, dick robots is fine with me if it's fine with you...[i had assumed i could change your name somehow, and if i had i would have written it here, but i have realised that i can't].


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