because of a movie

i'm alone now because of a movie i saw the things i was supposed to do. she saw them too. in bed together it was sweet and i whispered the things that i whispered the night before. the movie changed it all.

speaking of underpants

have you noticed that every single pair of underpants is made in china?

come on. you don't think they laugh at us when they're making our underpants. they sit there in the underpants factory and laugh. they hold up our giant underpants and wave them around in the air. laughing at how fat we are. i'm sure of it. they laugh at how funny our underpants look to them. and then they pack them up and wrap them in plastic.

summer socks for men

Everybody loves socks! But sometimes it's just too darn hot. Especially in the summertime when soaring temperatures can make wearing socks feel more like baking a turkey in your shoes.

Problem solved! Now, for fashionable sock loving but temperature sensitive men there's Summer Socks for Men!

They look just like regular socks but hiding just under the surface there's a micro-thin layer of dry ice. Finally, cool feet in the summertime (and no feminine looking sandals in sight, boys!).

Special bonus: for absolutely no additional cost you can wow the ladies with the wafts of smoke that eminate from your shoes!

Thanks to our innovative Isockle® Extendawear technology, Summer Socks for Men can be enjoyed for over 6 hours before a dry ice refill is needed.

Some mice developed terminal cervical cancer in clinical tests, but no sweat, you won't be wearing your Summer Socks for Men in a testing environment and most men don't have a cervix anyway so there's probably no need to worry!

Summer Socks for Men and related accessories are now available at your local sock retailer. Look for Underpants Made Out of Dead Skin Cells coming soon.

COPYING AND PASTING THINGS IN GERMAN EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT REALLY SAYS.

my new hobby is called COPYING AND PASTING THINGS IN GERMAN EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT REALLY SAYS.

it's actually listed in the national hobby archive (all be it at number 2,734, but we are ahead of nude soduku and folding up hats small enough to fit in your pocket).

there are dozens of web sites devoted to COPYING AND PASTING THINGS IN GERMAN EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT REALLY SAYS.

here is my latest piece...

Er kannte nicht nur die Namen der Filme, die hier gedreht wurden, sondern hatte sie wohl auch gesehen. Er kannte Metallica und Pink Floyd, die hier Videos gedreht haben, war also recht gebildet. Als er uns allerdings etwas von diversen heiligen Orten erzählen wollte, hab ich ihm auch mal meine Meinung gesagt. Diese Orte sind bekanntlich nur heilig, solange niemand etwas dafür bezahlt, auf heiligem Sand oder heiligen Buttes einen Film oder ein Video zu drehen. Für Geld wird einiges unheilig. Auch deshalb, weil die Navajos nicht, wie fast alle anderen Stämme, regelmässige Einnahmen aus Casinos haben. Nicht weil sie nicht dürften, sondern weil sie sich per Volksentscheid gegen das Glücksspiel entschieden haben. Würde wohl bei einer erneuten Umfrage nicht mehr vorkommen. Ein rotes Casino mitten im Tal würde auch recht gut aussehen.....
Die Geschichte von den seit Ewigkeiten friedliebenden Navajos hab ich ihm auch widerlegt, das kann er lieber räucherstäbchengegerbten New Age Jüngerinnen erzählen.
Aber ich schweife ab.

don't laugh. i'm still learning.

Let's Go National

last year's local "tell it like it is" day was a phenomenal success. this year, let's take it nationwide!

we'll call it the annual all-american "tell it like it is" day! or maybe THE 50 STATES PLUS PUERTO RICO AND ALASKA ANNUAL "TELL IT LIKE IT IS" DAY!

just imagine the whole country plus puerto rico and alaska telling it like it is! it will be so great.

let's sell t-shirts too. "i told it like it was on tell it like it is day" and "you've been told (like it is)"

and hats.

to go national we'll probably need to bring a celebrity on board. maybe a dick van patten or dick van dyke. anybody with the name dick would be good. or rosie o'donnel.

i really think we can make this happen. come on guys, this year let's tell it like it is like we've never told it before.

kate bush

i don't remember

i'll never forget