Sunday, June 21, 2009
to kill a moth
i used a piece of toilet paper to squash the moth because i didn't want to get his death dust on my hands. i wrapped him up in a ball and tossed his cottenelle covered carcass into the toilet. but i couldn't bring myself to flush. what a waste of water that would be. when you flush a toilet it uses 18 million gallons of water and i didn't want to waste 18 million gallons of water on a dead moth. i couldn't just leave him in there either because nobody wants to discover a wad of mystery paper in the bowl before they drop or dribble. so reluctantly i urinated on him myself. it wasn't an enjoyable experience but it wasn't as horrible as the moth gods would have you believe. my urine stream was strong on account of all that water i had taken on board earlier in the day and it pounded the already wet moth-filled paper into submersion. i could have aimed for the side of the bowl but piss to paper makes a muffled thud sound that is difficult to resist. when i was done i went ahead and flushed the pee soaked moth into the city's sewerage system. i'm unclear on where his final resting place might be.