something wrong

there's something wrong with me. eating makes me hungry. and sleeping makes me tired. i'm not dysfunctional. my friend says i am dysfunctional but i don't have any friends. i can do things. i do things. i'm a person. i have a face. i can smile. i do. but smiling makes me think about smiling and i wonder why sometimes i don't smile. it makes me angry. it isn't right. other people aren't like me. i'm sitting on the train and here we go. right past that other train. right over there on that other track. it's going in the same direction as my train but much much slower. there are people on that train but not one of them look at me. if i was on that train i would look at me and wonder why i got to go much faster than me. being on the fast train makes me think about people who are not on the fast train. why are they on the slow train? and why are they so happy? it's maddening.