Friday, December 11, 2009

she is changing the lyrics to beatles songs

she says things to me. mean things. and awful things. i feel like a boiling hot dog. floating to the top, then splitting up the guts. when i see her coming i scurry away. i'm a cockroach. embarrassed at how disgusting i am. i'm a disgusting pig. a cockroach pig. a hotdog cockroach pig.

then she says more things to me. more and more things. putting me down. i feel like a chinese acrobat in dorchester and i don't even know where dorchester is or if a chinese acrobat would feel uncomfortable there. a chinese hotdog cockroach pig acrobat in dorchester.

then suddenly i realize. she is just changing the lyrics to beatles songs.

"you're a real piece of shit" (nowhere man).

"all you need is to stop being so fat and disgusting" (all you need is love)

"i'm going to drive my car over your ugly face" (drive my car)

"fuck off, go away" (hello, goodbye)

"you are a bucktoothed piece of shit" (i am the walrus)

"i want to dip your face into a bucket of sulfuric acid" (i want to hold your hand)

"let me beat you to death" (let it be)

"you are a pea-brained fuckface" (paperback writer)

"you need to figure your shit out" (we can work it out)

"i wish you would die you stupid creep" (live and let die)

oh, that last one is wings i think. either way, i'm onto her. i get it now. those aren't even her words. she's too dumb to even think of her own words. she's just changing the lyrics to beatles songs.


  1. this is pure gold. I would like to write stories using each sentence as a title. i might do this. give me the rights you sgt. pepper's lonely hearts club fuckface asshole dickcheese!

  2. ohmygoodsogoodicantevenhitspacebar

  3. When you put it that way, it's kind of endearing, actually. It's like she's sending you love letters, in code.

  4. xtx... you are the proud new owner of "the rights"

    dj... thankyouverymuch

    cami... if she really loved me she would use o-town songs

  5. What a womoct cunt

    I hate the Beatles

  6. You're right. Now it just seems really passive-aggressive.

  7. you had me at boiled hotdog.


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