Wednesday, January 27, 2010

consumer behaviour

i am a coke or a sixty inch lcd television. she is single, female, middle-class, age 18 to 49, and college educated. she doesn't want to buy me. girls drink fresca. they buy shampoo.


she parks her motorbike on the footpath.

"you can't park there," says some guy.

"up yours, slut" she says to the guy.

"i'm not a slut," says the guy. "how can i be a slut?"

she doesn't answer him. she goes into the shop.

she says to the shop girl "give me the hugest most gigantic cup of coke you have because i'm going to drink it down my gullet and then get another one. i am so fucking thirsty. please."

the shop girl gets the girl two of the hugest most gigantic cups of coke you could imagine. the girl drinks them both down her gullet. the shop girl smiles at the girl and says "shit."

the girl says "yeah" and then leaves the shop. she sees a 60 inch lcd television pull up next to her motorbike. it's 1080p and she likes it. she wants it. she wants to watch grey's anatomy and lost on it.


there she is again. leather pants, god. i'm going to die of a hard on. but girls don't care how big their televisions are. i should just forget about her.


  1. Oh, Breck. Pantene.

  2. Awesome: "up yours, slut" she says to the guy.

    I like to call girls assholes. Really throws them for a loop. And I like Fresca too. Does that make me undiel? Don't judge me.

  3. i call girls tony danzas. then i say "whose the boss now?"

  4. hahahahahasimerizhahahahaha


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