Wednesday, September 30, 2009

the aliens have big penises

they descended from the skies in heart shaped metal-machines. future metal that was fleshy and rounded and comfortable. they emerged. they were aliens.

the women were athletic and small-breasted. they were good conversationalists. they were attractive. we wanted to get to know them.

the men were handsome and witty and they wore clothes that we thought would look good on us. we wanted to get to know them, too.

they were lovely.

they introduced us to music. we called it space music and it was very enjoyable. there were instruments that we didn't know about. the tunes were catchy and the lyrics were sophisticated.

they told us stories of exploration and adventure and travel. exciting stories.

they enjoyed meeting new species. they were not missionaries and they didn't want to murder us and steal our natural resources. they were friendly aliens.

they stayed.

they listened to us and helped us solve social problems and sudoku puzzles.

they danced with us.

it was really a wonderful time.

until the jealousy.

the envy.

we knew that it was wrong. but the men aliens had big penises. they liked to insert their big penises into our women. and our women liked to hold the big penises and look at them and enjoy them.

we felt inferior. our self-esteem was lost. we had normal sized penises but suddenly they felt very, very small.

we projected our self-hatred onto the men aliens. we tried to hurt them with words and fists.

the men aliens talked to the women aliens and they decided to leave us. to go onward. to seek out other experiences. they climbed into their machines and they were comfortable. they smiled and they waved and they drifted away.

our women are still angry. our self-esteem remains low.


  1. depressed human penises > alien penises

  2. God, I missed this. Never get in your spaceship and go away.

  3. also great


  4. Anonymous1:16 PM

    nice slice....


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