reading

i can look at people in their faces and understand "where they're coming from." when they talk i can "read between the lines." for example, there's a girl and she sits down and i like her. she says "i want to eat your pizza" and i am eating a pizza and it's delicious because it has pineapple on it and i'm going to eat three pieces even though i'm only supposed to eat two but what she really means is she would like to "get together" sometime.

and there's a lady at work who calls me a "fucking hole digger" and then she follows that with "i want to murder you." i can tell that she does want to murder me.

and the bus driver. there's a little girl and she's cute and her dad is bustling her onto the bus and the bus driver doesn't acknowledge how cute the little girl is or how bustly her dad is. i can see in his squashed up bus driver face that he doesn't want to be a bus driver any more. and then the bus doesn't stop at the stop and instead stops at the next stop and there is a lady who gets off the bus and she tries to make eye contact with a girl who also gets off the bus but she doesn't say anything. i can tell that she is "miffed" because now she has to walk back to the other stop where she wanted to get off.

now it's raining and two ladies come out of a door and one lady offers her umbrella to the other lady because the other lady has to walk and the first lady has a car. the second lady says "oh, no, no" and "i'll just run." i can tell that the first lady doesn't want to give the second lady a ride home in her car. The second lady is "right up my alley". I would quite like to "eat her pizza."

it works on the phone too because i call my friend johnson and say "hey" and he says "hey" but i can tell that he doesn't want to chat. I say "let's eat at vietnamese" and he says "that doesn't make sense you should say let's eat vietnamese or let's eat at insert name of vietnamese restaurant here and not let's eat at vietnamese" and i say "you know the name of the vietnamese restaurant" and he says "that's not the point" and i say "well why did you say insert the name of the vietnamese restaurant here when you know it is called viet nosh" and then he says he "has to go" and i can tell that he does not want to eat at vietnamese with me.

i won't go on but i could. i can do it with literally every single person i meet.